Officially "Over the Hill": Year Three is in the Books!
The first thing you should know about this Year in Review is that it’s going to inarguably be the most unique one out of the five that I will write. How can I possibly be that confident? That’s because I’m writing this during my recovery of brain surgery. But more to come on that……
I came into this year with a ton of excitement, but also with full knowledge that I had set myself up for a pretty tough year. I had ended my second year of college by being elected as Vice President of Membership for my sorority, Tau Beta Sigma, and also had been appointed as one of the Drum Majors for the Bearcat Bands. Both of these things were positions that I was incredibly excited for, but also was very nervous about doing on top of a very tough year of biomedical engineering curriculum that was ahead. All of that meant that the summer of 2015 was one that was filled with lots of planning and hard work to set myself up for a successful year, which was not as easy as I had hoped. I’d decided that summer, also, to begin my courses for a pre-medicine certificate, which meant taking Organic Chemistry in addition to my other tough BME courses, which provided an additional challenge to the normal rigor of the summer plus the extracurriculars. But something else was also posing a challenge. Something that I’d not expected to face: my health. I noticed at the end of my co-op during spring semester that I’d been getting dizzy simply standing at the lab bench, experienced chronic headaches and fatigue, and was struggling with basic cognitive ability. This led me to a visit with my doctor that would end up changing my life forever. It started me on the journey that encompassed 3 MRIs, 3 visits to 3 different specialists, and a TON of frustration all in that summer, still with no answers provided.
Fall semester started in the best way possible, like usual: with an exhausting, challenging, but incredibly fun band camp. I can honestly say that while stepping up as Drum Major was very draining and frustrating at times, it has been one of the best experiences of my entire life. Band camp helped me find my comfort in the role and gave the 10 days a whole new perspective, and it got me extremely pumped about the year with the band that was ahead! I was lucky enough to be given two really hilarious and goofy, but endlessly supportive guys to work with in this role: Jamey and Tony. They unfortunately were both graduating seniors this year, but they made the year so much fun, even if they teased me about 90% of the time for being a “youngin’.” One of the most important parts of my relationship with these guys is that as the season went on, my symptoms were getting progressively worse, and they stepped up exactly how I needed every time. There were times when the headaches were so bad I couldn’t do my job, I had to miss rehearsals for doctors’ appointments, I had a hard time remembering instructions, and I even fell off the podium a few times, and they were always understanding and ready to help in any way I needed, more like older brothers, than anything. They were there in a heartbeat to take away a lot of the stress of the job off my shoulders when I needed it, whether that was taking over on headset during a game, handling an issue with a band member, or just providing me with a huge smile and a great laugh (which was what they did most frequently). Although I wish my first season as Drum Major hadn’t been soiled by a frustrating health problem, it shaped my experience in a really unique way. It reminded me, yet again, that the UC Band is truly a family, and at that, one that is filled with people that barely know you, but will hesitate at nothing to treat you as if they’ve loved you their entire lives, and that is something that I will value my entire life.
I came into this year with a ton of excitement, but also with full knowledge that I had set myself up for a pretty tough year. I had ended my second year of college by being elected as Vice President of Membership for my sorority, Tau Beta Sigma, and also had been appointed as one of the Drum Majors for the Bearcat Bands. Both of these things were positions that I was incredibly excited for, but also was very nervous about doing on top of a very tough year of biomedical engineering curriculum that was ahead. All of that meant that the summer of 2015 was one that was filled with lots of planning and hard work to set myself up for a successful year, which was not as easy as I had hoped. I’d decided that summer, also, to begin my courses for a pre-medicine certificate, which meant taking Organic Chemistry in addition to my other tough BME courses, which provided an additional challenge to the normal rigor of the summer plus the extracurriculars. But something else was also posing a challenge. Something that I’d not expected to face: my health. I noticed at the end of my co-op during spring semester that I’d been getting dizzy simply standing at the lab bench, experienced chronic headaches and fatigue, and was struggling with basic cognitive ability. This led me to a visit with my doctor that would end up changing my life forever. It started me on the journey that encompassed 3 MRIs, 3 visits to 3 different specialists, and a TON of frustration all in that summer, still with no answers provided.
Fall semester started in the best way possible, like usual: with an exhausting, challenging, but incredibly fun band camp. I can honestly say that while stepping up as Drum Major was very draining and frustrating at times, it has been one of the best experiences of my entire life. Band camp helped me find my comfort in the role and gave the 10 days a whole new perspective, and it got me extremely pumped about the year with the band that was ahead! I was lucky enough to be given two really hilarious and goofy, but endlessly supportive guys to work with in this role: Jamey and Tony. They unfortunately were both graduating seniors this year, but they made the year so much fun, even if they teased me about 90% of the time for being a “youngin’.” One of the most important parts of my relationship with these guys is that as the season went on, my symptoms were getting progressively worse, and they stepped up exactly how I needed every time. There were times when the headaches were so bad I couldn’t do my job, I had to miss rehearsals for doctors’ appointments, I had a hard time remembering instructions, and I even fell off the podium a few times, and they were always understanding and ready to help in any way I needed, more like older brothers, than anything. They were there in a heartbeat to take away a lot of the stress of the job off my shoulders when I needed it, whether that was taking over on headset during a game, handling an issue with a band member, or just providing me with a huge smile and a great laugh (which was what they did most frequently). Although I wish my first season as Drum Major hadn’t been soiled by a frustrating health problem, it shaped my experience in a really unique way. It reminded me, yet again, that the UC Band is truly a family, and at that, one that is filled with people that barely know you, but will hesitate at nothing to treat you as if they’ve loved you their entire lives, and that is something that I will value my entire life.
Fall semester was also the time when I spent my second co-op rotation working for Dr. Donald Gilbert at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center, which was inarguably one of the most influential experiences for my education and career. Dr. Gilbert is a Child Neurologist at CCHMC and is the head of the Tic and Movement Disorder Clinic. I came about the co-op position after I read about his research involving transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) in children with ADHD and emailed him asking if there were any openings with his team. I spent the semester as a research assistant to the Brain Stimulation and Motor Control Lab, managing the data from the TMS trials (exciting news: that data is being put into a methods paper that will be published soon with my name listed as third author!). This experience was so influential to me not because of that work, but really because of the great amount of patient interaction that Dr. Gilbert provided me with. Not only was I able to shadow all of the patient TMS testing sessions and also shadow with him in his clinical rotations every Friday (my favorite part of every week!), but he gave me a huge responsibility that I am so thankful for: my own project with my own set of patients! Every Friday, I would take any willing 8-14 year old Tourette’s patients and work individually with them with a special sensory measurement device. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have had the opportunity to work with pediatric patients on a one-on-one basis at only 20 years old and half-way through my undergraduate education, but most importantly, that experience solidified my desire to spend my career working with patients.
Spring semester 2016 was probably one of the hardest times in my life. Over winter break, I had officially been diagnosed with what I’d been unknowingly struggling with for the last 10 months: Chiari I Malformation. Chiari I Malformation is the only type of Chiari that is acquired, and it is where the lower part of the skull never formed to the proper size, causing the lower part of the cerebellum to fall into the spinal canal and block CSF flow. There was a huge part of me that was incredibly relieved to finally have an official diagnosis, but this diagnosis wasn’t a simple or non-terrifying fix. The only treatment for Chiari is medication for symptom management (a struggle that I’d been facing over the last 10 months and wasn’t prepared to face for the rest of my life), and the only true fix is surgery. I was hoping that I could treat it with medication, but as the semester progressed, the symptoms just got increasingly worse. I woke up every day with a migraine and no matter how long I had slept, feeling completely exhausted. My grades really suffered because I was constantly exhausted, starting to experience significant cognitive issues, and was in constant head and neck pain. The only aspect of spring semester that got me through all of the pain was my sorority and band (no surprise there). I was lucky enough to be able to serve as Vice President of Membership for Tau Beta Sigma this year, which meant that during spring semester, I had 15 candidates (of both genders for the first time ever in our sorority!) that I had the responsibility of leading into the sorority, and they quickly became some of my most treasured friends. TBS has been one of my largest passions at UC since I first became a candidate in spring of 2014, and it was an unbelievable experience to be able to help 15 other people build that love. I constantly look back at that very first meeting where they didn’t even really know each other and compare to now, where they talk almost every day and have built life-long friendships with each other, and it just reminds me of how lucky I am to be a part of the band and TBS. They were always there for me when I was sick and struggling and they never failed to make me laugh and feel better. I relied on them as much as they relied on me, and I’m really not sure that I could have made it through that time without their love and support.
Half-way through the semester, my symptoms got so bad that I started consulting several surgeons and after some more scans, came to the decision that the surgery needed to happen. In my case, the surgery was not 100% necessary, which was one of the hardest parts of the experience for me. My doctors said that Chiari is not life-threatening so I could go my entire life without surgically treating it, but I needed to make the decision about what quality of life I wanted and whether my symptoms were worth the risk of surgery. Although it was a terrifying decision to willingly pursue brain surgery, I decided that I deserved better than to live in constant pain, and I was ready to trust God to get me through the procedure and lead me to a healthy life again. After consulting a few different surgeons and months of prep, I underwent posterior fossa decompression surgery with Dr. Warren Selman on June 2nd, 2016, and that proved to be the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. After a 4 hour procedure and a very challenging two days in the hospital (although visits from my family, boyfriend, Big Sis, and lots of other friends made it tremendously easier!), I was sent home to recover and start rebuilding my health. I had a surprisingly swift recovery, able to be out at the garden with my mom after only a week and a half! I know the countless thoughts and prayers that were being sent my way are truly to thank for the fact that I am writing this only 3 weeks after having a piece of my skull removed with a complete lack of pain, feeling like I did a year and a half ago before any of this started, and I couldn’t be more excited to use my new-found energy and feeling of life to make myself better than ever before.
This year was definitely a huge test for me, really trying my faith, my confidence in myself, and my view on life. I learned that no matter how bad life can get, that I am worth fighting for. I deserve to have the best quality of life possible and to actually feel well, no matter how big of a risk getting that back was. I learned that I have the best friends and family out there, because they never stopped supporting and loving me, even on my worst days (and they got really bad). For this upcoming year, I’ve set huge goals for myself. Through all of this, I made the decision to stop being Pre-Medicine, and instead be Pre-Physician Assistant. Because of my experience with Dr. Gilbert, I know now more than ever that patient care is absolutely my calling in life, but I also learned that I need to do that in a lower-stress environment. I did a ton of research into the career of a Physician Assistant, and it truly is a perfect career for me. I still have a ton of authority in the ability to treat patients in just about any field, but have a lower amount of responsibility and accountability than if I were to run my own practice as a doctor. I’m excited to start the coursework for that next year and take the steps to make myself ready to apply for a Physician Assistant program (which means prepping for the GRE!). I plan on using this new energy and enthusiasm to really get into a strict diet and exercise regimen, not wasting this new, healthy body I’ve been provided. One other goal I have (and it’s a bit crazy..) is to try to give a TEDx Talk at UC. I’d love to be able to share my Chiari experience with other people, and speak on the fact that reward doesn’t come without risk, and we need to have the confidence in ourselves to overcome fear and fight for the life that we want. I’ve #ConqueredChiari, and I want to use my new appreciation for life and feeling of wellness to further my involvement of service in my community and on campus (not quite sure how yet, but you bet I’m looking!) and making sure that those I love are constantly reminded of how much I love them, because I know I wouldn’t be here today without them.