See ya, Year Two!
“Déjà vu” is a concept that I’ve always been confused about. I’ve been confused how life can present a situation that is so incredibly similar to something that may have previously happened that you have to stop and wonder. Why am I rambling about déjà vu instead of talking about my second year of college, you ask? Well that’s because this year was definitely a déjà vu-type year for me. This year reminded me so much of my second year of high school in so many ways. Everyone says that sophomore year is the “awkward middle child” year (sorry to all those middle children I just offended) of school, and I definitely felt that this year. I went through a lot of the same personal struggles of trying to find myself this year as I did in high school, but there’s one HUGE difference between then and now: I actually learned from the past and used this year to propel myself forward and set new goals for myself.
When compared to my freshman year, I’ll be perfectly honest in saying that this year definitely wasn’t as exciting and life-altering. But that’s totally normal because your first year of college is a time for some major change, and what I realized that the time period of being given some leniency because you’re new at college doesn’t exist after that first year. You’re an adult; you’ve made the change either successfully or unsuccessfully, so now you have to deal with where you are. Luckily for me, I left off being selected as the Associate Drum Major for the UC Band, the Secretary-Treasurer for Band Council, and Honors Ambassador, and a generally successful biomedical engineering student, so I had a pretty good place to start from. Definitely not saying it was challenge-free, though. The biggest challenge for me this year was absolutely what I described before: following that expectation to be at such a higher success and maturity level than freshman year and to actually act like the independent adult that you’re supposed to be. Being Secretary-Treasurer was a LOT more difficult than I had anticipated and led to a year of a lot of drama and stress, and I really struggled to figure out how I was supposed to act as Associate Drum Major. I spent a lot of the time in those positions learning on my feet to see where I fit in, but in the end, I learned how to grow from my mistakes and I finished the year tremendously happier and more successful than I had started. I remember starting the year totally unsure of how to be a leader and a follower in the band at the same time, but I ended up finishing the year having a really successful basketball season under my belt (after I learned how to run the game without being repeatedly yelled at by media) and got to suit up in white for MainStreet Stride, one of the best memories I’ve made in college so far. I think key for both of these situations was gathering that skill of learning from my mistakes and reflecting on the decisions I’ve made. Instead of being completely beaten up by my mistakes and the hardships I faced, I worked really hard to improve and to be the best I could be, which ended up very well, but we’ll get to that later.
When compared to my freshman year, I’ll be perfectly honest in saying that this year definitely wasn’t as exciting and life-altering. But that’s totally normal because your first year of college is a time for some major change, and what I realized that the time period of being given some leniency because you’re new at college doesn’t exist after that first year. You’re an adult; you’ve made the change either successfully or unsuccessfully, so now you have to deal with where you are. Luckily for me, I left off being selected as the Associate Drum Major for the UC Band, the Secretary-Treasurer for Band Council, and Honors Ambassador, and a generally successful biomedical engineering student, so I had a pretty good place to start from. Definitely not saying it was challenge-free, though. The biggest challenge for me this year was absolutely what I described before: following that expectation to be at such a higher success and maturity level than freshman year and to actually act like the independent adult that you’re supposed to be. Being Secretary-Treasurer was a LOT more difficult than I had anticipated and led to a year of a lot of drama and stress, and I really struggled to figure out how I was supposed to act as Associate Drum Major. I spent a lot of the time in those positions learning on my feet to see where I fit in, but in the end, I learned how to grow from my mistakes and I finished the year tremendously happier and more successful than I had started. I remember starting the year totally unsure of how to be a leader and a follower in the band at the same time, but I ended up finishing the year having a really successful basketball season under my belt (after I learned how to run the game without being repeatedly yelled at by media) and got to suit up in white for MainStreet Stride, one of the best memories I’ve made in college so far. I think key for both of these situations was gathering that skill of learning from my mistakes and reflecting on the decisions I’ve made. Instead of being completely beaten up by my mistakes and the hardships I faced, I worked really hard to improve and to be the best I could be, which ended up very well, but we’ll get to that later.
I also spent a lot of this year feeling awkwardly alone, despite the fact that I have a chapter of 50 beautiful sisters to rely on, two incredible best friends/roommates, a great family, and so many more friends to go to. But here’s the thing, I know and love the fact that I have so many people to hang out with and rely on, but I didn’t have that one person that I called my best friend and would instantly tell everything to. My roommates were roommates last year, so they were a lot closer to each other and most of my friends had boyfriends to be their “person” (yes, I am in fact an avid fan of Grey’s Anatomy) or an already established best friend. It’s kind of funny how this situation ended up working out; our group of friends really had to go through some changes, some definitely not for the better, but it ended up making it to where some friends that I hadn’t really been close with last year are now my closest friends that I end up doing everything with now, and I absolutely love it. Obviously you never want any friendships to just end, but I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and had those friends not come to light, this year would have been so much harder for me.
On a more positive note, I had SUCH an incredible experience with my first co-op rotation. For starters, this fall I had my favorite class by far, “Biomedical Engineering in the Clinical Environment.” This class was my first real BME specific course and provided me with so many amazing experiences and connections. For example, one of my favorite days of the class was when one of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital’s neurointerventional surgeons, Dr. Todd Abruzzo, came into our class to talk about his work and clot removal in stroke patients using a thromboaspirator. He brought in a jello model to use this device on, and I was lucky enough to be one of the two students to use it! It was such an unforgettable experience to stand next to a world-class surgeon and have him provide guidance on this technique. Most importantly about that class though, was the fact that I was introduced to my two future co-op employers, Dr. Kevin Haworth and Dr. Christy Holland. My co-op assignment ended up being in the Biomedical Ultrasonics and Cavitation Lab, which is directly operated by Dr. Haworth but supervised as part of Dr. Holland’s larger group, the Image-Guided Ultrasonic Therapeutics Lab. I was given a very unique and important project for Dr. Haworth’s lab, to study the elastic properties of clot models in relation to how easily they are lysed by a clot-busting drug. Dr. Haworth proved to be a highly valuable mentor for me, providing plenty of career and academic guidance when I asked, connecting me to other medical professionals, and encouraging me to participate in poster sessions to present my work to others in the field. My co-op gave me great verification that biomedical engineering is absolutely what I need to be doing with my life and helped me set a great standard for how I wanted to act as a medical professional and what kind of relationship I wanted with my employer and research team.
On a more positive note, I had SUCH an incredible experience with my first co-op rotation. For starters, this fall I had my favorite class by far, “Biomedical Engineering in the Clinical Environment.” This class was my first real BME specific course and provided me with so many amazing experiences and connections. For example, one of my favorite days of the class was when one of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital’s neurointerventional surgeons, Dr. Todd Abruzzo, came into our class to talk about his work and clot removal in stroke patients using a thromboaspirator. He brought in a jello model to use this device on, and I was lucky enough to be one of the two students to use it! It was such an unforgettable experience to stand next to a world-class surgeon and have him provide guidance on this technique. Most importantly about that class though, was the fact that I was introduced to my two future co-op employers, Dr. Kevin Haworth and Dr. Christy Holland. My co-op assignment ended up being in the Biomedical Ultrasonics and Cavitation Lab, which is directly operated by Dr. Haworth but supervised as part of Dr. Holland’s larger group, the Image-Guided Ultrasonic Therapeutics Lab. I was given a very unique and important project for Dr. Haworth’s lab, to study the elastic properties of clot models in relation to how easily they are lysed by a clot-busting drug. Dr. Haworth proved to be a highly valuable mentor for me, providing plenty of career and academic guidance when I asked, connecting me to other medical professionals, and encouraging me to participate in poster sessions to present my work to others in the field. My co-op gave me great verification that biomedical engineering is absolutely what I need to be doing with my life and helped me set a great standard for how I wanted to act as a medical professional and what kind of relationship I wanted with my employer and research team.
Just like last year, I did manage to make a lot of really great new connections. One of the best new relationships that I developed this year was my friendships with the other Drum Majors. Melanie, Mitch, and Jamey were all at least two years older than me, so I was a little nervous going in what our dynamic would be like and how they would feel about working with someone so much younger in the same position, but I had such an amazing experience with them this year. We definitely faced some tough times, but we managed to have a great time working together, and I’m very excited to continue as a full-time Drum Major next year!
Some other new connections I made came through my sorority, Tau Beta Sigma. Not only did I grow closer to different sisters this year (especially after I landed myself on exec as the Vice President of Membership for the upcoming year), but also because I was lucky enough to get a little sister, Marie. I had such an incredible friendship with my big, Laura, and I was actually pretty nervous about how to be a good big sister and how to live up to the standard that Laura set. Marie easily has become one of my closest friends, and I found that being her big was very easy because she is very similar to me and we hit it off right away!
I think more importantly than forming the new relationships, though, was the way that I learned how to maintain relationships that I’d formed before that now were stretched mile apart. I worked really hard to maintain great relationships with my bigs, Ben and Laura, even as they were starting their careers in totally different places and still love talking to them and seeing them when we can (especially when we all come together to have fun at a band wedding!). The same thing applied with my family and friends back home. Last year I really struggled with keeping up with them, but I learned how to adjust this year to make sure I was a better friend, daughter, and overall person to not lose touch with those I care about most.
So now that I’m writing this and looking back at this last year, I’m really thinking about where I need my life to go. I’m about to hit the half-way point in my college (how did that happen?!) and now is the time, especially, where I’m not allowed to be a hot mess and I need to start taking major steps towards establishing myself as a successful adult. For next year, the biggest piece of advice I have for myself is this: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! I struggled a LOT with my health this year, especially recently, but I need to work harder to improve on my health. I found myself leaving this advice to myself in my last year in review, and I did a poor job following that, but this is the time where I take this even more seriously. I’m still facing some significant health issues, but I have a plan to improve myself and a clear, confident image for my future to continue to work towards. One goal, in particular that I’ve set for myself to pursue next year is to figure out just exactly what I want my career to be. My exposure to the College of Medicine left me with the goal of becoming a pediatric neurologist, and my recent struggles with classes is leaving me questioning what is truly right for me, so my biggest goal is to figure out what on Earth I’m supposed to be doing with my life! At least it’s an exciting journey. J
In general, I thought I knew who I was going into this year. I had a plan, I had it together, but life seems to have a way of blurring that crystal clear image of what life is supposed to be. I thought I was confident with myself and the life that I’ve started to create for myself, but I’ve done nothing but question myself this year. I’ve questioned how much I’ve changed, and whether that’s been for better or for worse, I’ve questioned my friends and who I could really go to, and I’ve questioned basically every element of my life, but I’m learning now that my questions are being answered and I need to love the person I am. I’ve seen that I was capable of growing as a leader and as a young woman in a male-dominated field, and to not fear my strengths.
TL;DR: I’m excited to see where the second half of college will take me and the young woman I can become! Go ‘Cats. TUCBIDG.